I got skills, they’re multiplyin’

Motherhood is no easy feat. Like any job, yes I am calling it a job, it takes skill. Skills that are learnt and not taught, sure there are the ‘how to swaddle a newborn so it settles easily’ skills that are taught in your antenatal classes, but there are so many that you learn along the way. Some that you may perfect, some that you may look on to others admiringly wishing you had their ability to do the same.

So imagine you are going for a job interview. What are your skills? What has being a mum given you? Sure, everyone knows about the love that you never knew existed until you saw your baby, everyone knows you are exhausted but somehow still function.
What have you learnt? What are your skills?

Having been at home for the better part of three years, I have many newly acquired skills. So let me share with you mine. (I am guessing most mothers of small children will have a similar resume.)

  1. I know all the words to the Frozen songs and can sing them on request, for the right audience.
  2. I can drink a cup of coffee or tea in lightning speed, hot or cold.
  3. I can shower really quickly and go days without washing my hair. I have perfected the mum bun.
  4. I can clean the house and somehow have it still look messy within five minutes.
  5. I can do most chores one handed, due to the baby permanently attached to my hip.
  6. I can wait out a tantrum like no ones business, generally blocking it out so well that by the time it is over I have to wonder how long it had stopped for.
  7. My reflexes are lightning, although she tries daily, my baby has not once leaped off the couch, bed or change table successfully.
  8. I am really good at hiding veggies, I love my grater.
  9. I have become really good at assessing a situation, picking my battles. Will what ever they are doing badly injure themselves or anyone else? No. Then go for it.
  10. I can, for the most part, maintain a conversation while being constantly interrupted and distracted by a small, slightly annoying child.
  11. I can also have conversations with soft toys, trains, or Duplo creatures/creations, sometimes in depth, sometimes in passing, but I almost always say the right thing.
  12. I am really good at building train tracks although my Duplo skills are lacking.
  13. I have learnt how to brace my body so that I can have a toddler hurl himself at me with minimal harm to my person.
  14. I can creep past open doors so as not to be seen or heard by half asleep children.
  15. And despite not ever wanting to need this skill, I have learnt the art of bribery and how it is a brilliant tool in the school of child rearing.

Things I am still working on include;
– getting a great photo of both my children at once.
– keeping my cool when my daughter wakes up for the fifth time in a night.
– convincing my two year old to wear pants.

So there you have it. I am sure there are plenty more things I could think of if I had the time, but as you may have guessed, an abundance of time is something I do not have.
Oh and if you were wondering, I love my new set of skills and I wouldn’t change them for anything in the world.

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