Warning: Rant ahead….
Pregnancy is a time where your body and life decisions are free for all to comment on. Pregnancy removes all boundaries. It is like people’s filter is taken away and they feel as if they can say whatever they want to just for the sake of it.
Yes, I am sure there is an element of excitement. Don’t get me wrong, I love hearing compliments about how cute my pregnant bump is or how pregnancy suits me. At a time when you can tend to feel a whole lot less than glamorous, who wouldn’t want to hear these things? I am sure, for the most part, the good intentions in people are wanting to let you know how wonderful you look, but instead of wording it in a way that makes you feel glowing and amazing they word it in a way that makes you feel like a big, round lump.
I do not carry big (well not yet anyway) and so far in this pregnancy I have been told;
– That I looked pregnant at 14 weeks,when I looked like this…
– That I look pregnant in the shape of my face
– That it’s good I was pregnant because otherwise I looked like I had just “porked up”
– That I am huge (at 18 weeks)
And that’s just comments on my body, I have been amazed at the way people think they have the right to judge my major life decisions in others lives. I have had people ask me how my husband and I will manage with him at uni and two children, if I think it is selfish of young people these days to be bringing children into such a ‘destructive world’, or, my favourite question of all, if the pregnancy was intentional. Please to all the people who ask other people this question, unless the person you are asking is your very, very close friend, stop it! Not only is it one of the rudest things you could possibly ask someone, it is also none of your business. Why would anyone ever ask this question? Even if it wasn’t intentional do you really want someone admitting to you that their child was a mistake? This question, although rude and inappropriate, is a question I have had to answer at least once a month, if not more, since we announced our pregnancy. Maybe it is how people perceive our ‘situation’ or the fact that Leo is only one, either way I can’t help but feel slightly irritated (and even offended) when people ask me if my pregnancy was an accident.
I have found a huge part of parenting is listening to other people’s advice, whether you ask for it or you are just standing randomly in a supermarket que with your child. People tend to tell you their opinion, how they did it, what they think. When you become pregnant you quickly realise that this part of parenting does not just start once your baby is born, it starts when you are first pregnant.
There are so many things that I love about being pregnant, something I am sure will be blogged on in weeks to come. It’s just when judgements on my life choices and comments on my body make me feel pretty ordinary I really miss just being a mum who only had to sort through some unwarranted comments on my mothering choices. So please, maybe I am being a precious, oversensitive pregnant woman, but the next time you go to pay a pregnant woman a compliment make sure your filter is on.