With the first trimester of my second pregnancy down
thank goodness I finally have some time to look back on how it compared to the first time around (Pregnancy 1- P1 versus Pregnancy 2- P2). There is no doubt about it pregnancy the second time around is definitely different. There is a different feel, almost even a different sort of excitement and being the second time you have done it, people are always asking you, is this what it was like last time? So over the course of this pregnancy I am going to do a series of blogs P1 v P2, how do they compare? How are they different? What is easier? What is harder?
And this weeks topic is fittingly, The First Trimester.
Finding out/ Telling people
Finding out we were pregnant both times was the same. We were trying, I waited anxiously each month for the right day to do a test, both times the month that we found out was the month that I was convinced it wasn’t happening, the only difference between finding out was the way I told Duncan. P1 I was so excited I burst into the bedroom with him asleep to tell him, this did not generate much more than a sleepy response. I was told I was not allowed to tell him this way again. So P2 after taking the test I went back to bed, being unable to sleep I eagerly jumped up at Leo’s first yell and found a special way to tell Duncan when he was well a truly awake. Needless to say, the reaction P2 was priceless, much better than P1.
Telling people P2 happened much sooner than P1. P1 I was so anxious, I didn’t want anyone knowing just incase something went wrong. I was so paranoid that we kept it a secret from a lot of people until about 15 weeks. P2, 8 weeks was an absolute struggle. I was so excited I wanted everyone to know, not only that, I wanted people to understand why I suddenly looked so tired and so sick. I was not paranoid this time around, I thought if something went wrong I would need the support of the people I had told, so if they could share in the excitement with me sooner, why not tell them?
Hands down P2 trumps P1 on all levels. To be fair, the vomiting, fatigue and nausea is something I tried to forget about my first pregnancy as I was worried it would make me never want to do it again, but from what I can remember it was nothing like what I have recently endured. There is no question that a toddler does not sympathise with the early stages of pregnancy and they do not make it any easier. This is one aspect of pregnancy that makes it harder second time around. P1 your only concern is yourself, P2 you are no longer able to focus on yourself or put yourself first, the child that came from P1 is your number one. It doesn’t matter if you have vomited all morning, still feel sick and your eyelids feel like they are being pulled down by tiny sumo wrestlers sitting on the bags under your eyes, if your toddler wants to play they will climb all over you, jump, pull and yell loudly directly into your ears until you play with them.
This part of the first trimester was the hardest aspect of P2 so far, although this time I am not trying to forget it, I am remembering that it was hard, documenting it so that when the P2 baby has their first birthday I can look back and realise that I am not ready to go through that part with a small child again.
Early pregnancy brings all sorts of emotions. Excitement, happiness, joy, fear, anxiety.
As I said before, P1 I was slightly paranoid, always worried something was going to go wrong. Counting down until our 20 week scan just so I could see the baby and know it was ok. Yes, P2 there is a slight element of that, but I am nowhere near as anxious. I know what I am in for and we have shown each other that we are good parents, we believe will be ok whatever comes our way.
P1 I was so excited. We were having a baby, how exciting. But if it is possible, I think I am even more excited P2, I know how good it is to have a baby, I know what it is like to be a mum, I know what that love is like when you meet your child and instead of having a constant cloud of worry over me, there is a constant buzz of excitement.
First trimester P1 and P2 body wise there was no difference.
I broke out in a rash all over from about weeks 8-10, which can rear its itchy, ugly head at any random week. My tummy did not change, if anything I lost weight both times from all the spewing I was doing (charming I know), and by week 13 I needed a much bigger bra than I did at week 6. But overall P1 and P2 pregnancy body wise, same same.
P1 the only planning we did in the first trimester was book a doctor and write the due date in our diary. P2, by the end of the first trimester we have already bought a second seat for the pram, put a cot on layby and have thought about the nursery decorations by buying a fantastic rug for underneath said cot. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that we know how expensive all the baby stuff is and we are no longer two working individuals but one uni student and one part-time worker/full-time mum. I feel more organised P2, I know what I have to be organised for. I am brainstorming what we need going off experience not off what books or apps tell me and it is so much easier.
I am so glad the first trimester is over. Already a few weeks in to the second trimester all traces of vomiting are gone, my nausea is settling and my energy is returning. P1 was all about me, I had no idea how easy I had it. What a luxury to be able to lie on the couch uninterrupted. Physically P1’s first trimester was so much easier. Mentally P2 has been easier by a mile, and although I know it was extremely difficult and draining I think I would be happy to take that any day.